


Breathe

by nic



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-04-07
Updated: 2002-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic/pseuds/nic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no air.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe

## Breathe

by Jedi Nic

<http://home.dencity.com/Jedi_Nic/>

* * *

Breathe  
by Jedi Nic (jedinic@bigfoot.com)  
4 April 2002 

Note: This is the type of fic I call "What If...?" Disclaimer: Clark and Lex are not mine. Rating: PG-13 

**BREATHE.**

There's no air. 

He's lying on the floor and it's cold and he's ever so sleepy; he's probably been unconscious but it's hard to tell. Opening his eyes is an effort and he turns his head, the barest movement, as he exhales what could well be his last breath. 

Clark is there. He, too, is lying on the floor and Lex wonders if he can breathe. If Lex were the panicking type, he'd be coughing and gasping right now, desperately trying to suck in the precious molecules that aren't there. They've already been converted to carbon dioxide and for a moment, Lex imagines he can see the combinations of atoms floating between himself and Clark. 

He knows they're there. But of course he can't see them, perhaps this expectation is the first sign of suffocation. He tries, ever so gently, to breathe. 

He's dizzy but not so dizzy that he doesn't appreciate what's happening. Doesn't forget that it was his choice to be here. He could have been safe back in his castle right now, fast asleep, but if he was, then he'd never know what had happened to Clark and perhaps that made everything worth it. 

Is Clark still alive? Lex tries to reach out but the motion takes far too much effort and even before his arm lifts an inch, it falls limply to the floor, marginally closer. There is a dull sound. Lex hears it but he doesn't know if Clark does because Clark's eyes are still closed. 

Beautiful young man. Even here, with his complexion unnaturally pale (and Lex tries not to think about his own appearance, more than likely he resembles a corpse) there is still the unnatural exquisiteness that has drawn Lex from the very first moment. The chest is frighteningly still and Lex hears nothing but the ever-present hum. 

He wants to speak but there are no words. So much was said earlier but now there's nothing but lingering guilt and Lex doesn't want Clark to feel guilty. It was his choice. His chance, once and for all, to prove to his father that there was something greater than the destiny he'd been pushed toward, and his chance to experience something that would never come along again. 

It had been a good choice. It still was. If only Clark would open his eyes. 

His chest spasms and he fights it; Lex is the master of control and who needs a pulse anyway? He doesn't want to go out choking. Right now, there's peace, it's Lex and it's Clark and despite the fact that there's no air, it's oddly right. 

Perhaps he should tell Clark that. 

Clark, who had been so full of energy earlier - how much earlier? Hours? A day? He's no longer sure. 

Clark, his eyes glistening with excitement and sorrow as he came to say goodbye. 

Clark, who had chosen Lex to share the secret, Lex above everyone else, and even now, he could hear the words. "You're the only one who would understand. My parents -- I," and despite his enthusiasm, tears had appeared in Clark's eyes. "I love them so much and if I tried to say goodbye...." 

"You wouldn't be able to go," Lex had finished, understanding as the memory of farewelling his own mother came over him. 

"And I wanted to tell Chloe but she would want to come with me and I can't let her do that, and Pete would never understand, and Lana-" He paused, a range of emotions flickering over his face. "I'd never want to hurt her so it's better her not knowing at all. Where I went. She probably wouldn't even remember me in a year or so. 

"But I had to tell someone, Lex, I left notes for everyone else but they'll believe it more if you tell them too. 

"I wanted to tell you." Clark took a deep breath, looking up at the still-sleepy Lex. "These last few months -- I never had a friend like you before. I never connected with someone like -- this." He looked slightly embarrassed. "You deserve to know and I couldn't leave without saying goodbye." 

Before Lex really thought about what he was saying, the words were out of his mouth. "Take me with you." 

"I can't!" 

"Yes, you can. Think about it, Clark. There's really nothing for me here. At least this way I'd know that you weren't going to be lonely." 

"Lex, do you have _any_ idea what I'm talking about? There is a spaceship in the middle of the cornfield! I don't know where it'll take me and I don't know if I'll ever come back! I thought you wanted to do great things here on Earth, Lex." 

"That was before I knew that my best friend was an alien." He smiled at Clark, everything making perfect sense and there was nothing remotely horrifying about it. This was _Clark_ , who had saved his life on more than one occasion and never done anything to cause Lex's distrust (other than the lying which stung, yet was completely understandable given the circumstances). "This is the greatest opportunity of my life -- of our lives, Clark. Take me with you." 

And so Clark did, unable to resist Lex's argument, or charm, or whatever it was that had drawn the pair together from the very first moment. 

Lex smiled, remembering the initial excited hour aboard the ship as Clark had explained everything. How he'd woken to hear a humming noise coming from the basement, his own ship. Wandering outside to see the light in the sky and realising it meant something of unbelievable significance. Seeing that light landing in the field, and knowing it was waiting for him and that it was time to go. 

And Lex's own reaction to Clark showing up in the middle of the night, not knocking on the door, just appearing in his bedroom like a moonstruck apparition, whispering his name softly until he woke up. Unexpected. Perfectly natural. 

The ship had hummed as they approached it; it knew who it had been sent to collect and a door gently hissed open. "It did that before," Clark said. "But I didn't go in then." This time was different. After stepping through, Lex had watched in amazement as the door vanished behind them - it was small for two people, barely enough space to stand, and there were no indications of navigation that Lex could recognise. Only alien symbols on a console that sparkled with the requisite lights. Clark didn't have to do a thing as the ship gently lifted off. 

They were glued to the tiny viewport, heads pressed together as they watched in wonder at the ship leaving the ground, streaking through the atmosphere at an incredible rate. "Where are we going?" Lex found himself asking. 

Clark didn't know. 

The planets flashed past and they were still travelling and then there was nothing but endless starfield. No means of determining direction, no pointers to the way home. Just Clark, Lex, a ship, and no air. 

There had been air at the start. Now Lex knows that the ship isn't meant for two, perhaps not even one on the journey it undertakes. 

How can Clark be dead? 

He wants to tell Clark that he doesn't regret this. What better way to piss off his father than to vanish completely, dying next to the only person in the universe (he can say that now) who cares about him? He wants to tell Clark that Smallville was the best thing that ever happened to him, because it made him alive; it made him a person. 

The spasm comes again, his lungs desperately reaching for something that isn't there. He knows he's turning blue. The world is turning dark and he can't speak, can't even whisper the words goodbye. He didn't think it would hurt so much. 

And suddenly, there's motion on the edge of his vision and he fights to see it, he can't miss this of all things, not when his body is fighting to hold on those last few seconds before blissful unconsciousness. It's Clark and Clark's eyes are open, staring into his, holding him there through the power of a gaze as he moves closer and his lips descend upon Lex's. 

Breathe. It's not said but the warm air passes from Clark's mouth into his, impossible that there could be so much air in the boy's lungs but there it is, alive and moist and Lex inhales. His eyes are still wide open and he's desperately aware of the feel of Clark's mouth against his own. Soft. Sweet. Perfect. 

And isn't it the ultimate irony that he realises this _now_ , that all of this -- the friendship, the flirtation -- could actually mean something more? He wishes he could say something but maybe he doesn't need to. The feeling is mirrored there in Clark's eyes. 

The air is still flowing, or perhaps time has slowed down to preserve this exquisite moment, their last moment. He draws it in, each precious molecule that is more than air, this is Clark himself and with every passing second he struggles to hold on. To hear Clark's heart beating in counterpoint to his own. The touch, the warmth that fights against the frigid air of the ship. The knowledge that he won't die alone. 

And when there's no air left, Clark doesn't pull away. He just moves slightly, so they're pressed cheek to cheek; neither of them has the energy to move further but this is enough. Lex feels Clark smile and suddenly he's smiling too, smiling at the swirls of nothingness that prick at the corners of his vision accompanied by an overwhelming dizziness. This is enough. No need to breathe, just sleep, with Clark. 

Softly. 

Quietly. 

Gone. 

Outside, against the side of the ship, something ever-so-gently docks. 

* * *

End.


End file.
